One Day, Many Laughs

You know I really don't have much to say these days. On the contrary, I have much to say, but never seem to write it down. My moments I guess are short lived when it comes to fill the roll of being a writer, or one of those people that write down every word and emotion from their mutated type writers in the court rooms. My best advice for myself is to just let anything flow from my head to my fingers to the keyboard. I just got back from spending time with my dear Tovia and her friends. We went to the local movie theater in Vancouver known as Kiggin's. For only a dollar on Monday's we get to watch Terminator: Salvation and Star Trek, even though I had watched them already in Russian with Michelle at our movie theater called Udakon, back in Chita, Russia. This time I understood the plot fully, and mostly made fun of many scenes, saying that the director wanted to be as original as possible by making the starship a model on a string. I also remember a drunk and somewhat deaf man confronting us in the park, while the girls were awkward about it I remained calm. It brought me back to the time in Vladivostok at the bus stop. All in all, it was a lot of fun that day, as soon as it started really, besides the fact my mom just got home from surgery on her colon and her being in a tired condition.

Doug threw me a letter today that made it one of the highlights. The letter was from my dearest Michelle, and as I read the words in a language that we share it overjoyed me, especially towards at the p.s. mark. She had also included two pictures, one of a newspaper article (she had also sent it) about guns, another of her holding it and making a face she says was just for me.... Special me! Oh how sweet the words marked in blue ink were, the personal highlighted sections of the articles she had selected for her personal editing. Seems now I have a pen-pal. It feels that I owe it to her. Nobody takes the time to make a letter, yet even to make it as interesting as the one she sent me. The cursive blue markings in Russian and English, small little pathways she had created from her hand that so vigorously moved and marked its history on a paper tablet...... there I go getting poetic and descriptive, but it is probably the only thing that keeps me half sane.

I played Tovia's mom's mandolin today, small and tedious to move my fingers but a fun time I had playing it. I fell in love with it within a five minute sit-down. Maybe music runs in my veins.....

I had just realized how long I have been gone from my country. Too long it feels already (If you have noticed I have the used the word Already). Amazing how only ten months can change you, it made me fall in love with so many things, I grew more than ten months worth, saw many things. But yet this two months out still has not adjusted so well to my behavior. I noticed people have noticed a change in my behavior, people I don't know really show the amount of oddity I have when I come in contact with them. Just ask Tovia's friends I met today what they think of me. But back to my explanation on being a fish out of water, the air is weird and I can't swim. I am fueling myself on the sugary carbonated drink that Mountain Dew has so eagerly bottled for customers like me. That green liquid so delicious yet killing me with each small sip/large gulp I take. But I am not the only thing that undergoes changes, my brother has also grown more into a man since he has been alone for the most part, at least without his other half, and I am glad he has. My two cats have gotten much bigger since the last time I saw them, for health reasons I would declare this as a negative change. So much change I tell you, many things have been in and out and all around me since my last journey. Though being back is nice, it is still not enough to fulfill me.

Anyways, I work now. The typical cashier at a local store, just with no name tag. Pays fifty more cents above minimum wage so I am doing all right. Plus it isn't a hard job to take on, just do the work, take people's money, and close up everything at closing time. I have it made. Every paycheck I receive is one more step towards my goal/primary objective. Next on the list is a mandolin. I think I fit in well this job, very social with customers and workers so I do fine with people, and have a good friend as my boss who is my best friend's dad. Definitely has it's perks I tell you. Let's just hope I don't screw it up.

I tell you, not a day has gone by where I haven't thought of Michelle Ike or Anders. Just realized that if I were to get a tattoo someday, I would take into consideration of getting M.I.A. tattooed on my body somewhere. It just kinda struck me in a certain way that it happened to be the acronym so perfect, but I doubt I will commit due to the three's say in my decision. Most people would see it and think Missing In Action. But it would also mean Michelle Ike Anders, I am truly Missing In Action without them. Interesting how everything plays out. It seems to be contagious [My thoughts], how they stick around in there and never leave. So contagious I infect other people with them by letting them lose through my words. Some listen, some listen intently, some get sick of the stories, but I assume it is just because I tell it too much, or they want me to get out of the "Michelle and I would" "I remember when Ike was" "Anders always liked to" scenarios. They want to find a cure for my disease sometimes, but I would rather die with it.

Currently song writing for me hasn't been too inspired. Trying to be creative while reading books doesn't always help me, neither does listening to other music, I would feel that I would be copying their style too much. Maybe I am not a musician born, but maybe one that will be molded. Some people are just natural at it. Me.... well I just get by in this learning process. Some people seem to enjoy a song I write, but I haven't ever really written some true ones except for one. I'll never forget how many times I was re-writing it because I thought it wasn't good enough, and then I finished it and still thought it wasn't to the standards. Ike told me that all artists hate their work at first. I still wonder if I could make it out in the music industry, big time. I don't have a really good chance, but I don't make it seem to be my goal, if I could get one record out to anyone that would be my accomplishment enough. But why do I worry so much, I am eighteen, a long time to worry about it and just get become greater.

So that much is said from me, and I had something to say but I lost it as my friend Tony came over for a visit. We talked for a while about getting married and the problems of it, women and relationships in general. Most of my views came from what I heard from Michelle actually, I don't why, but I guess I trust her more than anyone..... I don't guess I know I trust her more than anyone.

So I hope the next time I have something to write it shall be intriguing for you all, whoever you are that read my entries besides one that I know does. I am going to get to work on writing the next letter for Michelle.... now that I think about it: I think I should work on letters for many of my friends.